After much deliberation and inner turmoil, my charming husband convinced me to make the road trip to meet my niece.
I know, it sounds like a no brainer. However, in the midst of the infertility, it felt like a trudge to make a visit to see a baby. I know, I know... It's family. Which is also the notion of "seriously? my younger brother has a child and I don't?"
We were supposed to leave on Sunday, but after a mini breakdown of my emotional stability we decided leaving on Monday would be the best option. The journey was long, but the trip was worth it. Meeting my sweet little niece, who looks alarming like my brother, was wonderful. Holding her in my arms and watching her fight sleep for 20 minutes was absolutely lovely. Staying on the extra bed of my parents house was the exact opposite.
Also terrible is when my mother stated to my sister-in-law, "when you're done with the bottles you can send them to Kirstie." Yes she did. To which my body heated up, my eyes turned black and as I slowly turned my head, and loudly stated "we don't know if I can have children." So she promptly deflected to my father and focused on the last few drops of her 2nd glass of wine.
Dorothy was right, there is no place like home.
Showing posts with label public. Show all posts
Showing posts with label public. Show all posts
Friday, August 22, 2014
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Go public
Facing infertility in the face was a difficult, and FREEING when I made the decision to go public... as public as social media can be.
I was so tired of the "when are you going to have children" questions. When the "let me ask Siri" response didn't seem to be enough for people I realized I needed a new strategy. It was also not on my google calendar and my uterus wasn't chirping in either. Nor could I get a straight answer from the magic 8 ball or cootie catcher. Shrugging shoulders doesn't seem to be a good enough answer either for some people.
The simple answer is: "I don't know." Add in other words in the middle of that phrase to spice it up... unless you are talking to your mother.
I was also exhausted of the whispers and people who didn't get the answer they wanted from me and would question my husband or friends. Awful right?
I was most tired by my mother telling her friends so they could pray for me or adding my information to the prayer chain. We all know the prayer chain is church speak for gossip. Yes we do. Plus, then those people would ask me questions about babies, which caught me absolutely off guard. NEVER catch a woman taking fertility drugs and hormones off guard, unless you have tissues and wine. Seriously.
It also gives an inside for people who have kids to see what's on the other side. The exact opposite of greener grass. Why should they see it? Because they can't, won't ever, shouldn't have to... understand. Those women will gain empathy, but not understanding. When floating on the island of infertility in a sea of women with babies, it helps them gain inside information and know how to love and support you as their friend. The reality is that you are not the only one with fertility issues, but yes EVERYONE is having babies. Yes they are. You want to be one of them too.
It's ok when they have 3 children. Or 4. It's not like getting a hunting deer tag, and they have grabbed all the tags for the season.
Infertility does feel like bottled water. WHY do people pay so much for it when you can get it for free.
Go public.
Just get it out there.
You're not alone. You're reading this blog, so you must realize there are more women like you.
Stop watching Teen Mom on Netflix. It's only going to make you mad.
I was so tired of the "when are you going to have children" questions. When the "let me ask Siri" response didn't seem to be enough for people I realized I needed a new strategy. It was also not on my google calendar and my uterus wasn't chirping in either. Nor could I get a straight answer from the magic 8 ball or cootie catcher. Shrugging shoulders doesn't seem to be a good enough answer either for some people.
The simple answer is: "I don't know." Add in other words in the middle of that phrase to spice it up... unless you are talking to your mother.
I was also exhausted of the whispers and people who didn't get the answer they wanted from me and would question my husband or friends. Awful right?
I was most tired by my mother telling her friends so they could pray for me or adding my information to the prayer chain. We all know the prayer chain is church speak for gossip. Yes we do. Plus, then those people would ask me questions about babies, which caught me absolutely off guard. NEVER catch a woman taking fertility drugs and hormones off guard, unless you have tissues and wine. Seriously.
It also gives an inside for people who have kids to see what's on the other side. The exact opposite of greener grass. Why should they see it? Because they can't, won't ever, shouldn't have to... understand. Those women will gain empathy, but not understanding. When floating on the island of infertility in a sea of women with babies, it helps them gain inside information and know how to love and support you as their friend. The reality is that you are not the only one with fertility issues, but yes EVERYONE is having babies. Yes they are. You want to be one of them too.
It's ok when they have 3 children. Or 4. It's not like getting a hunting deer tag, and they have grabbed all the tags for the season.
Infertility does feel like bottled water. WHY do people pay so much for it when you can get it for free.
Go public.
Just get it out there.
You're not alone. You're reading this blog, so you must realize there are more women like you.
Stop watching Teen Mom on Netflix. It's only going to make you mad.
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