get support

If you are reading this blog because you are heading to or through IVF, my best tip is to get support.

I avoided support from google groups, because I didn't want to spend more time thinking about my infertility.  There is too much other fun or mentally healthy places to do so.  Plus, sitting and reading is almost impossible with a cuddly, fat cat.

I avoided when people would tell me stories about "someone they know" who went through IVF, it was just one more sad story after another.  Although most ended with a hopeful note, it was still me fighting my inner monologue of "oh my God... someone get me a glass of wine...stop talking... this is depressing...oh my God... remember to nod... do I hug now?..  seriously, make it a big glass...how nice it worked out for them..."  I even had a few people offer to show me pictures of their friend's "miracles."

Aren't all children/ the conception of life, a miracle?  Moving on.

When people told me their own stories or offered up other people's phone numbers to talk to real people, that's when I felt supported.

Unless I specifically told them I don't want to talk about it, and then they continued to do so.  Balloon deflation.

It also helped to come clean.  Exposing my vulnerabilities to my friends and wearing the scarlet I was the best thing I did.  It was not easy.

The most amazing support I had was when friends came to my house and prayed and supported me in this time.  It was AMAZING!  To pray though this time, to hear truth spoken, to be reminded of me (not the me the meds create in my head) and to be washed in the love of Jesus was everything.  Everything.  I have amazing women in my life.  No, none of them have been through IVF, they are all great mommies, and they are amazing.... and they are pretty funny and make great crafts too.

Get support.  Legit support.

return of the tick

Day one of injections is over and done.  Round 2 is about to begin.

As of this week I have reverted to my old nervous tick of wringing my hands.  When I catch myself, I try to put lotion in my hands to at least give the habit some purpose.

When I come through this I might not just have a baby, I could also have really soft hands. Bonus.

Injections to begin...

I've had all initial blood work done.  I'm taking a handful of vitamins daily.  I've taken my last birth control pill.   All this signifies the beginning of injections.   My life revolving around needles.

Feb 9 is egg retrieval day.   Feb 13 is when implementation happens. Then 48 hours of bed rest.   

I then wait until February 27 to see if my $15,000 lottery ticket was a winner.   

On a side note.  I asked a coworker how they kept their sanity.  Her response?  "I didn't.  I was a basket case."   Check.