Vacation?

Once a year my husband and I take a journey with friends to the Oregon Coast.  It's beautiful.  It's relaxing.  It's usually filled with booze.  mmmmm.

This year was no different, for everyone else.  Mine was full of tears, heartache, and mock-tails (virgin cocktails.)  we don't know if we are pregnant.  read on.

In early July I went in to the Fertility Clinic (the other F-word) for my 3rd IUI.  Change that, my husband and I went in for our 3rd IUI.  It really is a team sport at this point in the game.  We almost didn't make it to the Oregon Coast, but the timing worked out.  The vacation fell between the IUI and the pregnancy test time, so my husband and I went on the trip.

We didn't always want to go on the trip.  Around February/ March, my husband and I began talking about the upcoming trip and how that would look on the calendar.  We realized we were looking at a summer of IUIs and perhaps IVF.  While the ideals of a vacation sound relaxing and fun, I knew that timing was the key and we put it on hold with a decision of "no."  

Summer crept up and my husband convinced me that it would be a good way to get away (true,) spend time together (true,) and relax (false.)  Sometime during that point I went public to ask friends to pray.  By public, I mean I posted it on Facebook.  June's IUI came and went, unsuccessfully and was awfully depressing.  On what must have been a hormone-filled craze I called the doctor for a 3rd IUI for July.  

Again, the Facebook post was sent out to again ask people to pray.  Messages and emails came in.  They were mostly awesome.  Fantastic messages like "I will pray," expressions of empathy, or ladies publicly stating they were in my same boat.  Some people would state "we had no idea you couldn't conceive..."  Really? Really... As if it's a scarlet I that should be on my chest or a bead on a Pandora bracelet that someone overlooked.   Perhaps Facebook should add that into their profile settings.  

My husband and I flew into Oregon totally great and ready for the weekend.  Cut to me silently weeping outside the rental car office while I hear my friend next to me tell her baby about all the other children and moms who will be at the beach.  ALL FAMILIES WITH KIDS.  The only ladies sans kids besides me were the dogs.  Pain ensued.  

Coming back home to a quiet (when the black cat is sleeping) home was the real relaxation.  There is nothing like the feeling of your own pillow, your own sheets and your own bed.  

I'm currently distracting myself from the horrible game of "waiting."  Monday will be the day that I can check for pregnancy, but today is calendar day 28.  Praying for the pregnancy like a mad woman.